An idea…..perhaps less graphic and detailed….just on the holding and I love you..
Maxwell Stephen Portus, 10/07/1922 – 27.05.1994
“I don’t feel like going to radio therapy today”
Said my father at the end of the phone
I don’t feel well and it’s a long way
“You must go” I said insistently
My work ethic was blinding my feelings
I phoned my dad and said “I’ll be over soon”
My mother knew something was wrong
But she had dementia and was confused
I helped my father into clean pale blue pajamas
And called the doctor
He said it was only a matter of time
His lungs were filling with fluid
He became worse
I called the ambulance
It took for ever to arrive
My father took deep heavy breaths
I held him close to me in his bed
And said “I love you dad” for the first time…ever,
as he gasped for air.
I just hoped he could hear
I followed, with my mother, the ambulance
But he was dead when I next saw him
Lying in the hospital bed
I will always love you Dad.